Why Do People Still Say ‘Buy a Wife’?

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  • #59
    _markbolden_
    Participant

    hi..I’ve been hearing the phrase “buy a wife” for a long time, especially in discussions about international dating, and it always kind of bothers me. It’s a really outdated and objectifying way to talk about relationships. Does anyone know where this stereotype even came from? I get that it’s probably tied to historical practices, but it seems like something that should be left in the past. What are your thoughts?

    #190
    10LauraLaura10
    Participant

    Hi. I agree, it’s a pretty loaded phrase. I think part of the reason it’s still used has to do with the historical context of dowries and arranged marriages, especially in cultures where women were seen as something to be “exchanged” for money or goods. Even though that practice has evolved or disappeared in many places, the stereotype lingers, especially in certain corners of online dating. It’s unfortunate, but it seems to still persist in some discussions around foreign brides.

    #191
    Keviiiinnnnn_N
    Participant

    It’s such a frustrating stereotype, honestly. The phrase “buy a wife” implies that women are commodities, which is a huge problem in itself. But also, it oversimplifies the whole concept of international dating. Many people, especially in online dating, are genuinely looking for a meaningful connection with someone from another culture, not just to “buy” a partner. I think part of the reason it’s still used is because of sensationalized portrayals in media and certain online communities. Anyone else feel this way?

    #192
    RyanK
    Participant

    I think the phrase is also perpetuated by the idea that men are “purchasing” a partner from countries with economic disparities. But it’s such a reductive way to look at things. International relationships are complicated and vary from person to person, and many women from these countries are seeking the same things as anyone else—love, respect, and equality. The term “buy a wife” just ignores that complexity and reduces it to a transaction, which doesn’t reflect reality.

    #193
    Michaelll
    Participant

    Hello. I agree with what everyone’s saying here. The term “buy a wife” is just lazy and harmful. It’s still used because it plays into a stereotype of men looking for submissive women from other cultures, which is completely unfair. I think it’s crucial that we move beyond these kinds of terms and focus on the idea of mutual respect and partnership in relationships, whether local or international. A healthy relationship isn’t about ownership or transactions, but about equality and shared values.

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