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hey everyone. i’m recently divorced and thinking about getting back into dating for the first time. it’s kinda daunting. what challenges did you face when dating after divorce for the first time? what surprised you, what helped you… thanks in advance.
16hi al. jumping in. i just got divorced a year ago (38) and i’ve dipped my toe into the dating pool. here are some of my challenges: the apps. i wasn’t on them when i was married. suddenly i had this whole new world of swiping, messaging, ghosting… felt like alien terrain. i messed up by comparing new dates to my ex‑marriage, which was unfair to both myself & the new person. i had to stop that.
29hey there.. thanks for this space. i’m 35, divorced last year, and yes – challenges for sure. biggest one: identity shift. when you’re married you are “partner of someone”, then suddenly you’re not — and dating makes you feel “single again” in a way you haven’t been for a long time. that shook me.
15I was married for 12 years. When it ended, I felt like I had lost my identity. Dating again felt foreign and terrifying.
The biggest challenge was trust—trusting myself to choose wisely and trusting someone else not to hurt me. For months, I compared every new person to my ex. That was poison.
Eventually, therapy helped. I learned to see dating not as replacement but as rediscovery. The first few attempts were awkward, but one day, I met someone who didn’t mind my scars.
We’ve been together for two years now. I won’t say it’s perfect, but it’s peaceful—and that’s more than I ever thought I’d get again.28
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